Monday and Tuesday were probably my most annoying days so far, I have been at home now for almost 50 days and I have not seen many people and it has been tough.
Working out and getting busy with work is not filling the empty space, or the time I have spare. I have been working out everyday more or less since I start working from home.
Monday was a day I felt bored but I did not let it get to me, I made sure I stayed still and was basically reading because I did not want any anxiety feelings to invite themselves.
I managed Monday but did not wake up better on Tuesday. I was not keen on speaking to anyone, and felt just meh. I took a pause from training yesterday (did some meditation to just calm myself down from the boredom) and needed to have a cry, to call my friends in Sweden and just burst of anything I have been holding in. And I also make sure I thank my friends for listening to me, it is not their job but I appreciate my relationships so much. It is real. I love my friends, and I would die for them.
Anyhow, two weeks before my period my mood is low low. My back is killing me and I continued to cried yesterday bc of the pain in my back. Because I’m not using any contraceptive, I experience everything that is normal. One thing that I gained when I stopped using birth control was: A regular menstruation. I know every time when it is coming, I know it so well (I guess that is a must?). Craig knows it as well, like my period has been regular since I stopped the first time with birth control. I think it was 2016.
I need to know when my period comes and what is going on.
Anyhow, I almost had a tiny mental breakdown, and was crying but I got angry at myself because the day before was a good day. Work wise for me it is going well, I’m not gonna lie. I got an email with a nice lovely £.£££ reward. My manager is updating me with great appreciation coming from the clients, we are doing an amazing job even working from home. I should be fucking happy that I have a permanent job that also makes sure we progress and are being noticed. What on earth do I have to complain about? Not much really. I’m not gonna lie but I did struggle progressing when I was younger, although now I feel like things are changing for the better. I can’t even complain about my relationship with Craig, we are constantly growing. Something that he said yesterday was: we both make efforts for one another, and that is no doubt about how much love and effort we put. Get yourself a man that recognises your effort in the relationship.
I was not going to speak about my relationship. I try to keep it private but sometimes I slip. Ops. Private because this blog is more about me than us.
Featured a bikini image to make me feel better. I do feel better today and happier, grateful and full of love. Going to shake my little booty and do a killer booty work out. Start with activating my glutes and than some abs. Or fullbody work out maybe?