Sorting out life.

It has been a quite interesting week so far. From feeling low to high and now I feel more balanced and more grounded. Yesterday and today I have spent with Craig trying to figure out our expenses and how we move to the next chapter.

I have been going through all my expenses, from Netflix, Amazon Prime, Spotify, and others bits I don’t need.
I’m thinking of paying off my contract I have for my phone and go over to SIM only and save money. My monthly bill is £50 something, and I mean – It is just waste of money for a simple phone. I hope I can find a sim only for less than £10.

I’m not happy about not being able to go out and eat but at the same time it is a huge saver for me and for others as well? I have realised this quarantine that I can consume the same food everyday without question. I don’t need sugar, I can actually live a very economical? life if I wanted to.

Since this year started I became more strict with myself, of course it takes time to maintain that discipline with the things around you and yourself. I’m slowly feeling more balanced and stable mentally wise, I will have small dips because of boredom but I mean I just know what I want now and I know who and what I allow into my energy.

Craig and I were talking about how I managed London my first few years, and wow I have struggled money wise so much. It has been so tough for me because I don’t have a saving mindset from before. I have never felt the need to save money? I grow up a bit spoiled but that was due to my mum being the way she is. She is very strict with many things but she is extremely generous.

It wasn’t until I met Craig that I started to become more and more serious about money. Unfortunately it takes time to get out of the habit of spending. We all say, money comes and go. Yes it does, very true but sometimes it takes time for money to arrive. And during those moments, I wish I had saved some money for rainy days.

Looking at money now, I’m more positive about money, I think positive about money and finances. I think having a negative view on money does not help. What has helped me is to recognise where I go wrong with money. Where does my money go, and what am I doing with it?

I started thinking where my money goes, it was coffee every morning £3.75 Monday to Friday. Do the math there. Breakfast 2-3 a week at work £2 each time and lunch maybe every Friday. All these small things you don’t think is a lot of money, when you calculate: I get annoyed with myself because I rather cook.

I still buy things that I need, but even this coffee about last week. Yes it has helped but I think I’m going for the meditation for a while and home made coffee. I’m reducing money coming out of my account, I have to change my mindset because there is so much I want to do. The lifestyle I want to create requires a strict approach when it comes to money and work.

I have always had a feeling of my life changing for the better the older I get, and I’m glad I was stupid back in the days as young. I’m glad I could afford to make mistakes, I’m glad I made them, I’m glad I got a credit card early back home in Sweden and had no idea how to manage it. I’m glad because today, I don’t want a credit card today. I don’t want one because I have just started to become confident with my finances and more positive about it. I don’t want to ruin my strategy and my plans just because I went for a credit card I don’t need.

When I say that I always had a feeling my life is changing, I see different on things, I value myself extremely and I feel confident enough to make the right decisions for myself. I have a better mindset and this new me makes me want to have more. I want my savings account to grow, grow and grow.

I didn’t appreciate the comfort of money when I was younger even though I had a salary, I worked. The problem was that I thought buying things was happiness and I’m not alone on that. There are many people who struggle with money and not because they don’t have it – it is because they don’t know how to handle or plan their money. I have been there before, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, if you don’t know how to manage it. It is basically like not having money at all.

I’m sharing this because I know how difficult it is to talk about money. Money can make people go separate ways, it has happened to me. Not because I was being malicious but because the priorities have been different. If I could amend shit I have done before I would but at the same time I can just try to make the future better. I’m not talking about my struggle with money like it is something abnormal, it more normal than we actually think it is.

I would love to have a coach to continue to help me with my relationship in related to money. I think it is really important for me to create a better relationship. I want to avoid the struggle and have a negative view on money when I’m older and have kids.
A lot of the changes I’m trying to make right now are for my children in the future. I don’t have them yet, and as much as we cannot wait to have kids. We can wait. The reason why I work hard with myself, evolve and become a better person.

I’m not scared to talk about money today, I was before. I never wanted to admit that to anyone, because people judge. Not having money is tabu, you are poor. The issues around money should be talked about more, we should teach our children on how to have better relationship with money. How to invest, and how to use money wisely.

My parents tried to teach me but I never listened and didn’t care like I mentioned. Now that I’m older – I understand it more and I’m eager to change how I view money. I want to consume less, not have the need to buy things and I don’t care how good the quality is. I need to use what I got at home. Period.

I don’t know how appreciated this blog will be but I’m just changing my life around, sorting things out. I want to share this because how stressful the money subject is for A LOT of people. The feeling when it says decline when you are buying something, that feeling is horrible but WE all know that feeling. At least once. It is not the best appreciated topic at all times, but we have to be honest with ourselves. There are so many things we don’t need that we spend money on, that money could go to something more useful. I said this today: I’m allowed to only have one addiction. Not in the same way you are thinking of. I mean if I like to have coffee EVERYDAY then I don’t buy breakfast or lunch at work at all Monday to Friday. Take something in by taking something else out. If you really can be without addictions than SUPERB.

I’m happy I’m becoming better with money, and I’m happy that for the last two years I have been consistent prioritising what is important. I have prioritised making the situation around money less stressful. The pandemic we are experiencing has taught me a lot, I see other people struggling and I’m looking back to myself. Completely different situations but I look back and think, imagine if I was the person I was before today, this year. I would have been fxxxx. The fact that I still have money on my account and I get paid soon? It is such a change for me, and I hope to continue to grow and respect money and understand the balance. I don’t want to have money to show, and I don’t like to brag about money AT ALL but I do want a good life. I want to progress, and I want to give my children a good life. I want me as a mother to be balanced and give them my good energy. And for me to do all of that for them, I need to work on myself. On my own approach to life, to life’s unpredictable moments, as I need to be their protector. If I don’t feel safe with myself, how can I expect my kids to live a safe life? You need to live as you learn, and from now on: strict rules. Bye less, consume less and EAT AT HOME.

I hope this make anyone think, and maybe make some changes in their life. It is hard to get use to something that you haven’t practice before, it takes time but once you do it – you will understand how important it has always been.

I guess the reason why I wanted to become better with money was mainly Craig, he is better than me. And also the fact that I want to do so many other things. I need to save and be wise.

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